The Ultimate ‘Become A Russian’ Starter Kit

Easily convert to a Russian with these essential products.

Certainly the buzz about Russia’s involvement in the recent United States election will give many pause.  Seeing that many Americans are brushing off the issue, it’s high time we take the “When in Rome” approach.  We always knew communism take over the United States  by appearing draped in the flag of the Republican party. That is why we’ve compiled the ultimate list of products to ‘Become a Russian’. So grab your vodka and start ordering!

Vladimir Putin Annual Calendar

Rootin for Putin Calendar

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$13 isn’t a bad price for Russia’s hottest hunk. With the words “Rootin’ 4 Putin” displayed proudly, your pro-American friends will know exactly where you stand.

Just Strait Russian Propaganda

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Forward to Victory. Motherland is calling.  We’re not exactly sure what it all says, but this poster stands 23.6” tall and 17″ wide. Plenty of size for all the eyeballs to see that you care about the rural, middle-class families. Much like a New York-born upper class millionaire.

USSR Zippo Lighters

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Check out this 4-pack, two even have a train on it.  You know what they said about Stalin? He always had the spice trains running on thyme!

Piece of the Berlin Wall

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Not directly Russia per se, but nothing is more iconic of Cold War tensions than the Berlin Wall.  But talk of rebuilding the wall hath returned! Perhaps if enough Mexicans purchase these historical keepsakes, they could finally build that wall.

Ushanka & Officer Hats

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Da! Winter has set in throughout North America. What are comrades to do to stay warm? They obvious can’t burn their government-given portion of firewood. A warm Ushanka will keep ears warm & toasty! But they are not the only hats that are trendy, show your style with a Soviet Officer cap.

USA to USSR Conversion Decals

Easily convert to a Russian with these essential products.

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Your conversation to a Russian sympathizer means that the conversion of America is almost complete! So why not pick up these decals of the American Flag fading into the Soviet Union flag.

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